The Corner with Garry Chittick

It was nice last week when one of my five readers found the time to reprimand me
citing the lack of a Corner. To realise that in the hustle and bustle of popping
champagne corks, watching a bevy of barely covered tanned bodies mix and mingle
a thought was spared for me…


This week has to be about leadership, I am constantly bewildered as to how we put
up with the selection of elected mostly, many times not, leaders we install in
government.


I can’t cover them all but just think of those who have control of the means to end the
world, or part of it. I had to add that last line otherwise I could not allow Jacinda a
spot in the line-up.


I confirmed last week how our nuclear-laden 70-year-old Hercules had been
assigned to Ukraine but, I didn’t realise we have a destroyer, only one aggravating
China by playing tag around the shores of Japan. To my amazement I saw where
these war games involved 25,000 servicemen and women, the number of ships was
not disclosed in case they lost a couple. Now it is top secret how many we risked,
but in real war my guess is the destroyer will be hidden in Doubtful Sound with our
chosen one on board. Clark of course will dive not only to check there are no
explosives attached to this precious hull but a daily sackful of Pua and Crayfish to
feed the mixed-sex crew who, along with privileged pair plot to reinhabit Somes
Island.


Seriously though, how do the masses elect Sleepy Joe? He has the world’s largest
nuclear arsenal at his trembling fingertips. Imagine, a dozen missiles could be ignited
with only one press.
Macron, I know we all dreamt about our teacher seducing us, but to marry her with a
twenty-year age gap says a great deal about his emotional immaturity. I guess
should the need arise to nuclear blast their enemy, Great Britain, Madam Teacher
would make the decision.
Boris is now reduced to a bit part, if he pressed the button his reasoned eloquence
would be worth listening to. How do we elect these people? Boris is persuasive, ask
the multiple conquests he is renowned to have mated, it wouldn’t have his body,
looks or grooming and yet Britain fell for him.
The Ayatollahs I will let you be the judge of. Their capacity to obliterate me means I
naturally congratulate their election.
Then we have 1.4 billion Chinese, the leaders not elected you say, not true.
President Xi has just been elected for life by the Politburo. Now he is a risk knowing
a nuclear strike may eliminate 100 million of them, however they are left with 1.3, so
what.

I could go on but I am only allocated 100 words. My point is what is it with us mere
mortals that don’t do anything about it. Think about these people. Whoops I forgot a
couple. That idiot from North Korea. I know they don’t get a vote and any dissent
results in disappearance.
The other has to be Foster!
How is it we put up with a Kim Jong-un lookalike destroying our national game.
Having illustrated the likelihood of our armed forces making any impact on the world
war games, we only have the All Blacks to make an impact. Eric Watson believed his
twinkle fingers could liven the Warriors up but regretfully they are as exposed as
fodder at Passchendaele.
Football, well any game where such important appendages such as your arms won’t
be used will do little to help.
But Fozzy, he will survive, shouldn’t, but he will. Unlike the tooth fairy who rode to
victory on the surge of Covid, God help us, the virus is rampant again. Notice no
lockdowns, a debate over masks. There you are Fozzy stock up on masks, play with
on to avoid on field identification. You may fool a lot, perhaps not our new investors
Silver Lake who must be wrapped.


G

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